"Bone, my hero!"

After a split second of surprise, Tommy pretend-swoons (which is a little too genuine for his liking) into his arms, and points his foot up dramatically. The result is mostly just a wriggling sack of feathers. But he's put down on the table with surprising gentleness, and Tommy rolls his head to the side.

"Well I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear that I'm no medical professional either. But there's disinfectant and burn cream, which I think won't kill me no matter how bad of a doctor you are."